New Year -new-start-header

New Year, New Start

Greetings fellow humans, I do hope you had a happy festive holiday period and changing of the calendar.

Yeah, no, I can’t keep that up for long. How have you guys been? I’ve been thinking about my future and my present a lot lately and I thought a quick little update post would fit in great with the New Year festivities, as well as my own introspections.

I don’t really want to go into how my 2016 was. There were some really shitty moments and some absolutely fricking amazing moments, and now we’re here, in 2017. I have been under a lot of stress with work, crashing my car literally the day before I went to Gamescom (talk about mood swing..), and other stuff, including the expected depression and anxiety you’ve come to expect from me.

New Year Changes

But here we are in 2017 and things have changed. Usually, New Years is just the usual passage of time for me, but this year saw some pretty visceral changes in my life and also a little bit internally, too. I recognised the depression. I started feeling cooped up; I rarely get out and about, and I really started feeling it in the last half of 2016. Yes, it’s exhausting as an introvert and an anxious person, but I need to do different things sometimes.

So I decided to come back to the positives journal, something my therapist had me try when I did Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) a while back and found it worked pretty nicely for me along with getting out and about when I could. Except this time, I wanted to take it seriously, and not just as an act of therapy. See.. I found my old positives journal and it ended at a pretty poignant moment in my life; that being the Winter both mine and Dan’s nannies passed away.

No, this time I want it to become a habit so I’ve finally dug out the Moleskine I bought in Germany back in August and set up a bullet journal. My last blog post talked about my planner, which I still have and use, so this is purely a diary. A place for me to list the good things that happen each day, and it allows me to get creative with layouts and hell.. it gives me an excuse for my stationary addiction, right?

I can track all sorts of things in this journal to lift myself creatively, mentally, and emotionally. I’m trying to incorporate a small habit tracker at the end of my weekly layout, I’m doing doodles, and positivity pages, and all that stuff. I’m sure some of you will roll your eyes at the idea, I get it, I used to find the prospect of self-help a bit of a New Age fad, if I’m being honest, but the older and more susceptible to stress I become, the more I realise that this stuff is popular for a good reason: it works.

So that’s that. I may show you what I’ve been doing with it some time but this is a “quick post before bed” so not right now. Meanwhile, me and my dad are talking about getting me a new car. He has one that could be good, but after the crash, my insurance premium is a bit steep. However, having a car would enable me to get out and about more, as I’d be less reliant on Pembrokeshire’s shitty public transport, so overall I’m thinking it might be worth it purely for the sake of improving my mental health in 2017 and making more memories. And I can’t really go into the job stuff but as stressful as it has been, and continues to be, things are looking good there right now, and I may even have more time coming up, which leads me to my last point.

Goals

Yeah I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I tried once or twice and of course, I didn’t stick to them, it just so happens that I decided to start up this positive bullet journal thing during the changing of the calendar, and with it figured a few simple goals would be well worthwhile. There’s a few pretty vague ones about changing my mental outlook but here are a few I’m happy to share with you lot.

  1. Read more. A minimum of 1 hour per day (which I fear I’ve already failed on my first day but I slept awfully and I have a headache so LET ME HAVE THIS EXCUSE KAY) and 24 books in the year, equalling 2 books per month. I’m giving myself a bit of leeway, of course, because planning my hobbies too much makes them unfun. Basically, if Goodreads counts it towards my goal, then it counts for me, too. My dad bought me a new Kindle Paperwhite for Christmas as my old one died on its arse just before I left for Germany (that really was a weird time in my life, let me tell you) and it is wonderful! I love it. My old one was the Kindle 3 from like.. 2011 I think? It was old, so this is a notable upgrade and it’s lovely.
  2. Sleep better. Quit staring at the phone/PC screen before sleep (future me is frowning at present me, I’m sure), read instead, and go at a reasonable time. The hope being that by getting into a healthier bedtime routine, I sleep better and perhaps become less exhausted. If not I need my thyroid checked because holy shit you guys, I’m exhausted all the time right now. Yeah. That’s a thing.
  3. The bullet journal thing.
  4. Listen to more music. I love music, and for some reason I rarely listen to it, missing out on some really great releases. What’s more, I’m itching to see more live music after we saw Watsky live in Cardiff (one of Dan’s favourites) so I’d like to keep up at least a little more.
  5. Support more indies. I love indie creators and firmly believe that the best and most innovative ideas are coming from the indie sphere in all areas, be it gaming, books, film, whatever. That doesn’t mean I wanted to avoid the mainstream, because those creators need love too, but yeah, I have a lot of passion for indie projects and ideas and I’d love to explore these more in 2017 and share them with you lot in some way.
  6. Blog more. I’ve been paying for monthly hosting on this blog and barely touching it. I pop in every month or so to dust off a few cobwebs but the dust has got in the cracks and with my aforementioned “more time coming up”, what better way to use that than to revitalise the blog? I’d also like to do a little freelancing so it serves a dual purpose, but mostly, I love creating content for my own site. It is my space, geared towards my audience, and nothing quite beats that. It just doesn’t pay the bills, you know?

That’ll do for now, I’m going to go brush my teeth, grab a nice big glass of water and collapse in all of the pillows for a few hours.

Oh, one last favour if you’re still here! I’ve been gone for a while, so if you could comment with your blog’s URL that’d be lovely. I want to make sure I’ve got you guys in my reader. I want gamers, readers, writers, otakus, geeks, nerds, and all that’s beyond. I’m not linking to anybody new at this time, but I’d like to make sure my links are all updated and I haven’t missed out on anybody new. Cheers! *poof*

18 thoughts on “New Year, New Start”

  1. I need to dust off my blog, as well. And clean up my feedreader. There’s so many blogs I just don’t read in there! Glad to have you back to blogging, lady. 🙂

    1. Yay! And yes. I add everybody thinking “I’ll see if I find them interesting after a few posts,” and then just don’t read at all. >.>

  2. Yay for the journal and the ressolutions! 🙂 I also need to sleep better. I read before sleeping, and that helps 🙂 I also use an App called Headspace that helps you get your thoughts clear and so you can go to sleep better 🙂 You could give it a try too 🙂

  3. The older I get, the more I realize that life’s too short to a) worry about what other people think, and b) spend one’s days on negativity and complaining.

    It’s the ol’ that glass is really 50% filled with water and 50% filled with air deal. Either way, I can enjoy the water and think of ways to use an empty glass -and- have fun; or I can spend the same time complaining to all and sundry that this glass isn’t full enough and make others -and- myself miserable until we die. I’ll take the former, thanks.

    So good on you! Do what works and makes you feel positive/good. 🙂

    1. Ayup. I’m very much a glass half full kind of girl, but depression is a different beast. Like.. I recognise there’s half a glass of water but I’m focusing on the edge of the table it’s on instead.

      I’ve been working hard to retrain my brain for a few years now and last year, I definitely had my best year in a long time. There was A LOT of stress, but in 2017, I’m going to push myself to enjoy things more and do things with my time that make me feel good and not just stuff that makes the time pass. Hopefully it puts me on the path to overcoming the stress almost altogether. (of course, that does mean much less social media time and being a little ignorant on current events but.. sanity and all that) 🙂

    1. Woo, thanks! 😀

      Yeah, me too. Thus why it’s been bothering me that I haven’t been reading much of anything the past couple of years. Determined to fix that in 2017.

  4. I’m with you on the reading and music bits. If I absolutely must watch something on my phone before I sleep, I try to make it an ASMR video so that I sometimes end up nodding off in the middle of it. Worth a try.

    Best wishes in 2017!

    1. I do this too, but I end up browsing for new videos which I doubt helps. >.> It’s a really nice way to fall asleep though.

      You too!

  5. Good luck with your goals. Bullet journals are the best! I started mine in October and I just love spending time on it. My brain feels a little clearer after a journaling sesh haha.

    Happy New year ✨

  6. Isey / Chris here from http://www.ihaspc.com

    I have a very active mind, lots of screen time close to bed, and some sleep issues. I downloaded an app (headspace) which is guided meditation recently. First 10 are free, I am on 6. I have found it has helped me immensely in calming my mind and getting to sleep. Worth trying, at least the free ones!

    Being exhausted with an active mind is a pain. Sorry about the car =)

    1. I got you, thank you. <3

      Yeah I listen to a lot of ASMR. It calms my anxiety down a lot but I guess I don't always need it. I also subscribe to a guy on YT called Jason Stephenson who releases a bunch of "sleep music", very soothing and meditative stuff. There's lots on YT for free. ^^

      And thanks, it was a few months ago now. Not fun at the time but things happen.

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