A Rather Melancholy Hump Day – Blaugust, Day 10

Another day, another almost missed post. Except.. today it’s less silly and rambly and more melancholy.

I don’t even know, you guys. See.. I’ve got my mental illnesses under control. I’m on medication and I’ve had the CBT and I overcame it. But today I’ve felt .. just shit. I’m writing this right now and my brain’s telling me not to bother, “they’ve all heard it before, they don’t want to hear your whining.” Usually I’m able to catch these thoughts in mid-air and just waft them away like smoke in the air, but for some reason, today I don’t seem to have the strength. These thoughts are more like raindrops. You can tell the rain to go away all you want, but you don’t control the weather it just.. is.

So while my brain is over here throwing around words like “annoying, boring, fat, useless, slow, clingy” (you get the point), I’ll just get under cover from the rain and hope it stops soon, while reminding myself of what my counsellor said to me back in October 2014. “Would you say these things to a friend?”

I think I need to just spend some time enjoying my games, cuddling my husband, and getting out. You know? Oh by the way, I actually kinda love rain. I think it’s beautiful.

Anyway, I hope you guys are having a better hump day. *hugs* for you all. 🙂 I’m sure I’ll be back to normal shortly.

In actual happy news, I commissioned a new chibi of Jaedia (my avatar “me”) and it shouldn’t be much longer now! The mock-up looks amazing, I can’t wait.

21 thoughts on “A Rather Melancholy Hump Day – Blaugust, Day 10”

  1. helpful, current, enjoying life, effective, leisurely, friendly

    Back to normal? As if anyone is normal by any kind of standard. Hope you get back to who you want to be.

    1. Awww. <3

      You have a point, there. It's always hard to word things right when your brain decides you're shit. Thankfully this one didn't last long, just been tired and enjoying gaming. 😀

  2. I love the rain too, listening to it in bed. I love it when it rains when I am going to bed.
    If you need to repeat something you have written before, do it, it helps. I am sure people are tired of me too sometimes, but pff. I NEED IT! BTW I am not tired of listening to you, no matter what you write. It’s your voice, and it’s important.
    You are awesome, you are Jaejae, got a lot of people who loves you, including lil old meee <3

    Huge hugs to super awesome, bestest Jaejae in the world(s)!!!!!!

    1. *hugs*
      Thanks Missymoo! 😀 By the way, I totally dreamt you came to the UK to visit me the other night and we went to some kind of adventure zoo thing and got up to shenanigans. Was a fun dream. xD

  3. Hump Day is highly overrated. It seems as if it should be some big happy halfway point but most weeks it’s just another day. Now that it’s over, Thrilling Thursday and Fabulous Friday are in view ( I helpfully have given the days of the week extra names).
    Tomorrow is 99.9999% always a better day. Keep a sharp eye out for those extended decimal days. Big hugs.

    1. Heheheh, well indeed. Honestly it was nothing to do with the day of the week. Just how things fell. But you made me smile even so. Though Thursday is possibly my hump day. *shudder*

  4. {{{hugs}}} I know those days too – I sometimes put on the music that makes me sad or angry and just wallow for an album’s worth then I get the bouncy happy stuff going. Sometimes though, I just can’t beat it so I go back to bed & hope I wake up in a better mood!

    1. I work from home. Fraid going back to bed isn’t an option. However, vanishing into a game world for a couple hours in the evening is always nice. ?

  5. Having an off day happens to all of us, regardless of our personal situation, some people seem to be able to muscle through it easier than others.
    Other times it’s hard to put on that brave face for others when you just want to watch Spaced on DVD and eat revels.

    One of my favourite “escapes/distractions/remedies” is music, I either pick and album that I feel may help or I use one of my playlists that has the most ridiculously bouncy tunes on it,well bouncy for me anyway.

    I hope your hump day wasn’t all bad.

    1. Make that Minstrels and I’m there. But otherwise.. yus. Sometimes it’s a small low, other times it’s bigger. Though *touch wood* I haven’t had a prolonged one since cbt last autumn. Often music helps, but when I’m working I find it distracting. So when I finished I loaded up some eso. Beautiful soundtrack. ♡

  6. I think it’s good that when you do have a bad day you are able to stop and think about it and know how to handle it. I think the advice you got sounds really good. I think writing is a good medium for days like today, it’s much better than keeping it all inside. I totally agree with Murf that some days I just need to step away from it all and get some air, even if that means just taking a break and stepping outside for a couple minutes.

    Hopefully that came across the right way. *hugs*

    1. It did. It all makes sense. ^^
      Need to work out how to surround myself with more positive energy on a day to day basis and get more activity variety in there. *hugs*

    1. Absolutely. I stared at the pigeon in the garden for a good 10 minutes earlier. Hoping the cloud cover has passed so I can go check out the meteor shower in an hour or so. If not.. well.. maybe I’ll listen to the ocean instead.

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